Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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