i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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