During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
