Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize