I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize