therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize