Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
