I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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