I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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