I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I think my moral compass just broke
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