you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
