If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
