my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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