my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
