And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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