If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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