I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
