You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
