Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
