this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
