Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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