fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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