i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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