the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
