NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Reggie can tackle my bush.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
