i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
