Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
