It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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