Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
