I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
