Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
