He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
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