just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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