i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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