I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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