i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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