Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
