i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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