For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
