just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We had sex on a dog bed..
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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