so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
