You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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