i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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