She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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