Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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