Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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