What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We talked him into tasing himself.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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