Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize