Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
