No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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