im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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