thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
