Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
