I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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