Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Green mimosas i think yes
Are we still banned from the library?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
