PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
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He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Are we still banned from the library?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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