Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
