They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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