I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
