Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Your penis caused this!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
