Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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