You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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