Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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