thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
